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Tumbling Marriage Rates in Wisconsin Raise Family Law Questions

The United State Census Bureau released its statistics on marriage this week. The numbers tell an interesting story. In the 1960s, more than 80 percent of American adults were married. By 2000, the number fell to 57 percent. The recent figure for 2009 is 52 percent nationwide and 53 percent for Wisconsin. In Milwaukee County, only 41 percent of adults were married as of 2009.

The reasons for the decline are unclear. Some would argue that it is a sign of deteriorating family values. Others point out that young adults are waiting longer to get married than previous generations. Still others maintain that women no longer see marriage as a requirement for economic reasons. While the cause for the drop in marriage rates is up for debate, the effects are fairly predictable when it comes to family law.

With fewer marriages there will be less formal arrangements between couples. Many couples are choosing to live together or cohabitate.  According to the Population Reference Bureau, the decline in marriage rates “has been accompanied by a rapid increase in the number of cohabitating couples.”

When cohabitating couples break up, they do not divorce. Divorce allows married couples to divide their property, arrange for alimony (maintenance), child custody, visitation and child support. But many cohabitating couples have children and this often raises the issue of paternity, child custody, and child support.

When unmarried couples who have children separate, these issues are often left hanging and they require a court order for final resolution. The process can be complex and confusing. It is important to be fully aware of your rights and responsibilities when it comes to your children.  An experienced family law attorney can help you understand your options, rights, and responsibilities.

Source: MilwaukeeNewsBuzz.com: Is Wisconsin losing its taste for wedlock?; Matt Hrodey, 9/30/2010

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Holiday Child Custody tips for Divorced Parents

For divorced parents, the holidays can be a stressful experience. All too often, divorced parents cannot agree on who will get the kids and where they will spend the holidays. The arguments begin around Thanksgiving, peak at Christmas carry on through New Year’s Day.

This is not just hard on the parents. Holiday arguments can deeply affect children of divorce as well. For children of divorced parents, the childhood holiday memories many of us look back on fondly become filled with arguing and holiday stress. With holiday visitation around the corner, the Huffington Post’s Stacy Schneider wrote an interesting article featuring her tips to ease holiday custody fights. We would like to share of her tips and some additional tips with you.

Planning holiday visitation is incredibly important and is not something to be left until the last minute. This helps to avoid last minute arguments. When planning visitation, do so in detail. Include every detail you can think of, including pick up and drop off times and locations as well as who is spending what part of the holiday where. Putting a plan in writing can help resolve any miscommunication ahead of time.

It is not just important to plan and communicate with your ex-spouse, it is important to communicate with your children as well. Children can deal better with holiday stress when a plan is in place and they understand what is going on, so it is best to include them in your plans. Additionally, some children will feel guilty when leaving a parent behind on a holiday visit. Having a plan for what you will be doing while they are gone and communicating that plan to them will help to alleviate any guilt the children may be experiencing.

Sources: Huffington Post: Avoiding Holiday Custody Tug of Wars; Stacy Schneider, 11/10/2010

Evansville Courier & Press: Planning, new routines can ease holidays for children of divorce; Davi Stein, 11/30/2010

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Child custody terms reached by Sheen and Mueller

The highly discussed and publicized divorce between television star Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller has finally reached a point of agreement over terms of child custody. They have two two-year-old twin boys, and their custody is based on a highly customized and rigidly structured plan.

Both Sheen and Mueller have dealt with alcohol and drug dependencies, and these concerns were major factors in the settlement. Concerns about drug use led to the inclusion of several important clauses in the custody agreement. The terms are strictly based on the stipulation that both Mueller and Sheen must remain free of drug and alcohol use; otherwise, the agreement will be subject to change.

During the first two months of the agreement, Sheen will have the boys every other weekend for the period of Saturday morning through the evening of Sunday. If the rules are followed by both parents, the next two-month period will see increased parenting time for Sheen. He will have Saturday morning to Monday morning every other weekend. If the terms are not violated, Sheen will then get the boys from Wednesday morning until Thursday morning, in addition to the weekend period. Mueller will have the twins during the times that Sheen does not.

Both parents will be randomly tested for drug and alcohol use as required by the agreement. Additionally, both Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller must always have a nanny present for the duration of their times with the children. Also stated in the terms is a condition that neither parent is permitted to be photographed with a romantic partner in the presence of the boys.

Sheen’s notorious “goddesses” are also included in the child custody agreement. Sheen’s romantic partners are prohibited from showing affection to the boys in public by the terms of the agreement.

Source: US Magazine, “Charlie Sheen, Brooke Mueller Reach Custody Agreement,” 4/2/2011

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Mel Gibson Ordered to pay Child Support Bill

Last month, we wrote about Mel Gibson’s hefty child support bill of $20,000 per month for his 1-year-old daughter. Recently, Mel Gibson and his ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva were back in court arguing over several things, including that $20,000 per month bill, child custody, and visitation.

Gibson has already been paying $6,000 per month for the house Grigorieva shares with her mother. Since being ordered to pay the $20,000 monthly, Gibson has withheld payments while he tried to determine if he could deduct the $6,000 housing payment from the $20,000 child support payment.

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon denied Gibson’s request that the housing payment be deducted from the child support payment, and ordered Gibson to pay $60,000 in back support.

The matter of child custody and visitation remain unresolved at present. Both Gibson and Grigorieva are seeking custody of their daughter. But, not only does Grigorieva want full custody of the baby, she has requested that the court deny Gibson visitation, alleging he is a danger to the child. Judge Gordon declined to make any decision on this request at this point in the proceedings.

Due to past allegations of abuse and heightened media attention to this case, Gibson is concerned about the potential of more private details and personal information coming to the attention of the media. Because of that concern, he requested a gag order, which would preclude both parties from speaking about the case with the media. Judge Gordon refused to issue a gag order, and Grigorieva taped an hour-long interview with Larry King shortly thereafter. However, Judge Gordon did order the parties’ depositions sealed from public access.

Although the issue of child support is resolved for now, the ultimate issues of child custody and visitation remain to be decided. The next hearing in the Gibson-Grigorieva case is scheduled for next Monday and we will keep you posted when new information is available.

Source: CBS News: Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva Together Again for Closed-Door Custody Hearing; Caroline Black, 11/11/2010

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Parents sometimes use children as pawns in disagreements

Many of the decisions and protocol parents need to follow regarding their children are addressed in the divorce decree and child custody/support orders. But there are certainly some events that no one can prepare for. Anger, bitterness, pride and different belief systems often get in the way of sound decisions when divorced parents have arguments about what is best for their children.

Such is the case of a 4-year-old girl that made national news recently when her father did not allow her to accept a trip to Disney World from the Make-A-Wish Foundation. She recently completed her chemotherapy treatments for leukemia that she’s been fighting for the last two years. The Foundation granted her wish to take her Mom, sister and grandparents with her to the Magic Kingdom. But, she needed signed permission from both her parents, and her father refused.

The girl’s mother feels that her father was retaliating because he was only recently granted visitation rights to see his daughter earlier this year. She felt he was using this occurrence as a way to get back at the mother.

He argued that only children who were terminally ill and only had six months left to live should be awarded grants for the foundation. His daughter was declared cancer free. He was also embittered because neither he nor the girl’s other siblings were invited to participate in the trip.

The Foundation argued that it does not focus on terminally-ill children, but provides hope and strength to youngsters undergoing difficult medical procedures.

In the end, the little girl’s maternal family raised enough money for the trip by placing jars at local Haskins businesses and with donations that poured in from around the country through an online account.

Our firm can help you resolved conflicts like the one discussed in this article. Learn more by visiting our Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Family Law web page.

Source: Toledoblade.com, “Help goes national as cancer survivor, 4, will get her wish,” Mel Flanagan, July 20, 2012

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