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Dwyane Wade Making Child Custody a Priority

Former Marquette All-American and current Miami Heat standout Dwyane Wade is gearing up for another run at the NBA championship. However, he is also fighting an even more important battle for his rights as a father. Wade and his former high school sweetheart have been involved in a lengthy divorce and child custody battle over their two sons, 8 and 3 years of age, that began in 2007.

Wade’s career, wealth and fame are proving to be a bit of a double-edged sword in his child custody fight. He is facing a great deal of pressure from the sports media and from his team to focus on basketball in Miami instead of focusing on a child custody fight in Chicago. Additionally, courts often wonder what sort of life a single father with a demanding career can provide for two young boys. However, his career gives him an advantage that many fathers do not have. With excellent financial resources, there can be no doubt about his ability to provide for his boys.

In October, when the rest of the NBA was in fulltime practice mode, Wade appeared in a Chicago court to answer many questions and state his case for custody of his children. He does not believe they will be safe with their mother, and he would like to be in control of exchanges of the children because his ex-wife has allegedly failed to bring his children to visitation in the past. “This is not just about the next 5 or 10 years of my career. This is about the next 40 or 50 years of my life,” Wade said.

Wade’s devotion to his children is commendable, and we hope the high-pressure sports media understands that his priorities are indeed correct. Children are an incredibly important aspect of a parent’s life and are absolutely worth the time and effort Dwyane Wade is making.

Source: ESPN.com: Wade making good choices off court; Michael Wallace, 10/20/2010

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Holiday Child Custody tips for Divorced Parents

For divorced parents, the holidays can be a stressful experience. All too often, divorced parents cannot agree on who will get the kids and where they will spend the holidays. The arguments begin around Thanksgiving, peak at Christmas carry on through New Year’s Day.

This is not just hard on the parents. Holiday arguments can deeply affect children of divorce as well. For children of divorced parents, the childhood holiday memories many of us look back on fondly become filled with arguing and holiday stress. With holiday visitation around the corner, the Huffington Post’s Stacy Schneider wrote an interesting article featuring her tips to ease holiday custody fights. We would like to share of her tips and some additional tips with you.

Planning holiday visitation is incredibly important and is not something to be left until the last minute. This helps to avoid last minute arguments. When planning visitation, do so in detail. Include every detail you can think of, including pick up and drop off times and locations as well as who is spending what part of the holiday where. Putting a plan in writing can help resolve any miscommunication ahead of time.

It is not just important to plan and communicate with your ex-spouse, it is important to communicate with your children as well. Children can deal better with holiday stress when a plan is in place and they understand what is going on, so it is best to include them in your plans. Additionally, some children will feel guilty when leaving a parent behind on a holiday visit. Having a plan for what you will be doing while they are gone and communicating that plan to them will help to alleviate any guilt the children may be experiencing.

Sources: Huffington Post: Avoiding Holiday Custody Tug of Wars; Stacy Schneider, 11/10/2010

Evansville Courier & Press: Planning, new routines can ease holidays for children of divorce; Davi Stein, 11/30/2010

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International Problems in Child Custody Disputes

All too often, one parent in a divorce refuses to accept a court’s child custody decision and takes matters into his or her own hands. With marriages between citizens of different countries becoming more common in the 21st century, the problem of international child abduction can present unique problems.

The most common scenario for international child abduction occurs when an American citizen marries a citizen of a foreign country and they have children together, but their marriage ends in divorce. When one of the parents takes the children to a foreign country in violation of a court order, an international child abduction has occurred.

The United States and more than 80 others nations have signed a treaty to prevent international child abduction, the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. International law requires countries that signed the Hague Convention to recognize and enforce the child custody orders of other countries that have signed the treaty.

However, many Asian countries have not signed the Hague Convention, including some of America’s closest allies in the region. According to the U.S. State Department, Japan and India account for more than 300 cases of international child abduction, involving more than 400 children.

Once a child has been abducted to a country that has not signed the Hague Convention, a parent who has been left behind has very few remedies. In fact, one American parent recently spent 18 days in a Japanese prison after a failed attempt to bring his children back home.

There has been progress in many Asian countries. South Korea and Singapore have recently announced they will sign the Hague Convention. However, Japan and India have shown little indication that they do likewise. In our next post, we will discuss the phenomenon of international child abduction in more detail and the efforts that are underway to reunite American parents with their children.

Source: The Washington Post, “Japan, India pressed to curb child abductions,” David Crary, 12/7/2010

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International Problems in Child Custody Disputes: Part II

The effects of a country’s refusal to sign the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction are profound. When a parent absconds with their children to a country like Japan or India even though there is an American child custody order in place, the foreign courts will ignore the previous child custody order and start over from scratch.

While both India and Japan recognize that child custody matters should be decided by looking to the best interests of the child, they have vastly different criteria than U.S. courts. For example, it is accepted practice in Japan that only one parent, usually the mother, should have sole custody of the child after a divorce.

Even some countries that have signed the Hague Convention will occasionally ignore an American child custody order. Last year, a case involving Brazil made headlines. In 2004, Sean Goldman’s mother took him from New Jersey to Brazil in violation of a New Jersey court order. In 2008, Sean’s mother died in Brazil, leaving the boy in the custody of her family. It was not until December 2009 and not until Brazil’s Supreme Court weighed in, that Sean was returned to his father.

Presently, there is a legislative effort underway to bring more pressure upon countries that ignore American child custody orders. New Jersey Congressman believes that the U.S. State Department’s diplomatic approach is falling short of reuniting parents with their children. Introducing a bill that would create the Office on International Child Abductions within the State Department and create a process for imposing economic sanctions on countries that are havens for international child abduction.

Source: The Washington Post, “Japan, India pressed to curb child abductions,” David Crary, 12/7/2010

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Closing Arguments Made in Dwyane Wade Custody Case

Our Milwaukee readers will recall Dwyane Wade’s stellar basketball career at Marquette University, which has propelled him to NBA stardom. In addition to spending time on the basketball court, Wade has spent a significant amount of time in a court of law because of a protracted divorce and a child custody dispute.

Wade married his high school sweetheart, Siohvaughn, in 2002. They separated in 2007 when Siohvaughn moved from Florida, where Wade lives and plays for the Miami Heat, back to Chicago. They were official divorced in June of 2010, but a final ruling on custody of the Wades’ two sons, 8-year-old Zaire and 2-year-old Zion, is still pending.

Last week, the attorneys for Dwyane and Siohvaughn made their closing arguments in the child custody case. Arguing before Circuit Judge Renee Goldfarb, Siohvaughn’s attorneys alleged that Dwyane is using his money and influence to portray her in a bad light. They state Wade has focused on his career, and left Siohvaughn to raise their children and the boys have become attached to her. They also believe that Dwyane Wade has no time to raise his children properly, and that he will pay others to raise the boys for him. Siohvaughn attended the hearing. Dwyane Wade was not present, but appeared through his attorneys.

Dwyane Wade’s attorneys repeated their central assertions in the case. They believe Siohvaughn has anger issues and needs psychiatric help. Dwyane’s attorneys also made what appears to be an argument based on parental alienation syndrome. They believe Siohvaughn has manipulated the children, has tried to use the boys to get revenge for the divorce, and the process has alienated Dwyane from his children.

The guardian for the children, an attorney appointed to represent the interests of the children, reportedly took the side of Dwyane’s attorneys. Judge Goldfarb will rule on which parent gets custody within the next 60 days.

Sources:

Chicago Sun Times, “Only truth in Wade custody case: Boys the real victims,” Maudlyne Ihejirika, 1/22/2011

Chicago Tribune, “Closings heard in Dwyane Wade child custody case,” Dawn Rhodes, 1/21/2011

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Many Wisconsin grandparents raising their grandkids in recession

According to the most recent census data available, nearly three million children are being raised by their grandparents. That figure represents an 8 percent increase since the 2000 census. Much of the increase is being attributed to the bad economy over the past few years.

In fact, the increase in grandparent custody started in 2008 amid the recession and housing crisis. Many economists believe the housing crisis led to multiple generations of families sharing one roof. Then some parents needed to move to find employment elsewhere, leaving the children in the care of their grandparents. In other situations, the parents are very young and are either unable or unwilling to properly care for their children and grandparents fill the parental void.

There can be no doubt that generation gap issues can arise when a grandparent raises a child. Children assigned to do an Internet-based homework assignment may not find their grandparents are very familiar with the intricacies of the information superhighway. Conversely, grandparents may be baffled by their grandkids’ unwavering interest in Pokemon and Digimon. Despite differences in age, skill and interests, grandparents often make excellent caregivers.

However, in the past grandparents could very easily lose the right to visitation with their grandchildren if a parent’s parental rights were terminated. Thankfully, Wisconsin law recognizes the important bond between a grandparent and grandchild. Grandparents and great-grandparents who have maintained a relationship with a child similar to a parent-child relationship can request and receive visitation rights from a family law court when visitation is in the best interests of the grandchild.

Sources: Minnesota Public Radio, “Census: In recession, more grandparents raising grandkids,” Tom Robertson, 1/27/2011

Wisconsin Statutes Section 767.34

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Pentagon supports protecting child custody rights of troops

For members of the military, divorce can be a complicated process. Unfortunately, military life is often difficult, and troops are subject to overseas deployment. Because of the difficulties of military life, many family law judges have been hesitant to give soldiers custody of their children in a divorce.

The Pentagon had opposed the idea of a federal law on the issue in the past, but it recently changed its position regarding to child custody issues for American troops. According to an announcement by Robert Gates, the Pentagon and Congress will begin working with each other to create federal legislation designed to protect the child custody rights of military personnel. They are hoping to create a bill guaranteeing that active duty military personnel involved in disputes over child custody are not at risk of penalization due to military service.

Representative Michael Turner, who has been sponsoring this type of legislation since 2006, was thrilled by the news. He sponsored the Service Members Family Protection Act, which would have prohibited the deployment of military personnel from being used as a factor against them during child custody cases.

It is difficult to determine the number of divorced troops that have lost custody of their children as a result of deployment, since the details of family court proceedings are often not public knowledge.

Some feel that federal legislation in child custody issues will complicate family law in state courts. Congressman Turner, however, believes that federal law is necessary due to the often-nomadic lifestyle of active duty military personnel. The state residency of service men and women can vary depending on deployment and where they live, making it difficult to determine jurisdiction in child custody cases.

A federal law would help protect the custody rights of troops regardless of where they are stationed. Turner believes that American service personnel should not have to “worry about losing their children while they defend us overseas.”

Source: Stars and Stripes, “Pentagon to support bill to protect troops’ child custody rights,” Charlie Reed, 2/17/2011

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Nurturing parents help children cope with divorce

Many recent studies have shown that children of divorce are at an increased risk for mental health problems, as well as having educational and social difficulties. However, other studies have estimated that between 70 and 75 percent of children with divorced parents do not have any significant problems. Why would so many children avoid the problems that other children of divorce have experienced? This question lead to a recent study that evaluated parenting styles of divorced parents.

The study conducted by scientists at the Prevention Research Center at Arizona State University suggests that having caring, nurturing parents is more important to a child’s well-being than having married parents.

The study followed a group of 240 mothers who had custody of 10-year-old children for a period of six years. The mothers and their children took part in a divorce intervention program, meeting two hours per week for 11 weeks. This program focused on teaching the mothers disciplinary skills and methods for improving their overall relationships with their children.

Six years later, the scientists contacted the mothers to see how the children were coping. They learned that the children whose mothers who were both nurturing and firm disciplinarians were the most well adjusted. Children with warm, but firm, mothers experienced fewer symptoms of depression and generally had higher self-esteem. Children were also less likely to experiment with alcohol and other drugs when they had a parent that provided consistent discipline.

This research demonstrates that well-adjusted children are the result of consistent, loving parents, and divorced parents are very capable of providing their children with the nurturing environment they need.

Source: Huffington Post, “Can Parents Prevent their Children from Having Problems Following Divorce?,” Robert Hughes, Jr., 2/16/2011

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Restraining order issued against Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen’s two sons have been removed from his home after his ex-wife received a stay-away against him. Sheen’s ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, won a restraining order against the father of her children after issuing claims that he had threatened her life. Sheen, known for his recent role on the CBS comedy series “Two and a Half Men,” told reporters that he did not know where his sons Bob and Max had been taken after the temporary restraining order was issued.

The star’s recent publicity and this recent incident may continue to affect his future child custody and visitation rights. Reports about the actor’s party lifestyle, rehabilitation visits, and legal troubles could result in the courts viewing him as an unfit parent, causing his visitation and child custody rights to be limited.

The current stay-away order against Sheen prohibits him from being within 100 yards of his ex-wife and their twin sons. According to court documents, Mueller claims that Sheen threatened her by saying, “I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom.” According to Mueller, Sheen also punched her and spit on her, as well as threatened to stab her.

Mueller and Sheen separated after a Christmas Day dispute in 2009. Sheen was arrested and later pleaded guilty to assault charges stemming from the incident. He served 30 days in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation facility in the fall of 2010 as a result of the assault charges.

The Mueller-Sheen divorce settlement has given primary physical custody of their nearly two-year-old children to Mueller. Sheen will also be required to pay $55,000 per month in child support.

Source: Reuters, “Judge bars Charlie Sheen from kids, ex-wife,” Christine Kearney, 3/2/2011

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Dwyane Wade wins child custody of his sons

Our Milwaukee readers will remember Dwyane Wade’s success on the basketball court with Marquette Univeristy. Earlier this month, Wade had success in a court of law and he won his child custody case. Wade was granted sole custody and control of his two sons.

The boys arrived in Miami, where Wade lives and plays professional basketball, shortly after the custody ruling was officially filed. According to the Associated Press, Wade said that the ruling lifted a huge weight off his back. Wade said that he had been mentally preparing himself for the court’s ruling for more than a year.

Wade did not announce the court’s decision immediately in order to make sure his sons were both fully aware of how their lives would be affected. Wade’s teammates were notified of the custody ruling after a team win and they gave their point guard a lively ovation after hearing the news.

Although Wade contributed to the win with five blocked shots, five rebounds, nine assists and 28 points during that day’s game, winning custody of his two children was the greatest news he could hear and he decided to play hard and just enjoy the game.

Wade’s success in his child custody case demonstrates how parents who fight to be a part of their children’s lives can be successful. Wade stated that he fought until he could not fight any more so that he could be a father to his two sons.

The courts have allowed Wade’s ex-wife to have bi-monthly visitations with the children in addition to Mother’s Day and other select holidays. Wade has previously said that he hopes his sons can maintain a healthy relationship with their mother despite the divorce.

Source: Associated Press, “Dwyane Wade wins custody fight for sons,” 3/13/2011

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