Census finds change in Wisconsin divorce and marriage patterns

According to a recent analysis of data from the U.S. Census, people in Wisconsin are getting married and filing for divorce at a slower pace than couples living in the rest of the nation. In the years since the Census Bureau began keeping track of both marriages and divorces in 2008, it found that Wisconsin’s marriage and divorce rates lagged behind the national average.

According to the Census data, only 1.7 percent of Wisconsin men and 1.6 percent of Wisconsin women got married in 2009, compared with the national average of 1.9 percent for men and 1.8 percent for women.

Diana Elliot, a demographer with the Census Bureau, says that these two numbers are strongly related. She believes that many people are delaying marriage, and divorce rates will fall when there are fewer marriages. In fact, delaying marriage is part of a larger national trend. Over the past forty years, the average age at which a man marries has increased to 28 and the average woman married about the age of 26, reflecting an increase of about six years.

However, just because people are delaying marriage does not mean that that are putting off relationships. Cohabitation and having children out of wedlock is becoming increasingly common in Wisconsin. With that in mind, it is important to note the legal ramifications of having children out of wedlock.

When a married couple divorces, the issues of child support, child custody, alimony, and marital property division are resolved in the divorce order. When an unmarried couple with children separates, there is no divorce order. When a mother never marries a child’s father, a paternity lawsuit is needed to determine the issues of child support, child custody and visitation.

Source: The Superior Telegram, “Wisconsin marriage and divorce rates trail the nation’s,” Teresa Shipley, Aug. 25, 2011

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Mel Gibson’s child custody dispute is settled

The child custody fight between Mel Gibson and his ex-girlfriend has been one of the most hotly contested custody disputes in recent memory. As you may remember, Gibson began his relationship with Oksana Grigorieva following his split from his wife, and Oksana gave birth to their daughter. Since that time, Gibson and Grigorieva have had a tumultuous breakup, with embarrassing allegations being publicly hurled by both sides. Gibson and Grigorieva have been involved in their child custody dispute ever since, until now.

Last week, news broke that Mel Gibson and his ex-girlfriend had agreed to a settlement in a child custody case involving their daughter. However, the details remained unclear. A spokesperson for the actor declined to comment as to whether this agreement settled the various issues between the two, but thanked the judge for offering assistance in arriving at the agreement. This week, the details became public.

According to the L.A. Times, Gibson and Grigorieva will share joint legal custody of their daughter. Under their agreement, Grigorieva will be able to remain in her current home with her daughter, and Gibson will pay her $750,000 in three installments over the course of the next five years.

The parties reached an interesting agreement regarding privacy issues and the mansion that Gibson has provided for Grigorieva and their daughter. Upon their daughter’s 18th birthday, the house will be sold and the proceeds will be placed in a trust for the daughter, and not Grigorieva. In addition, the agreement prohibits either party from writing a book about their relationship.

Sources: Los Angeles Times, “Mel Gibson to pay mother of his toddler $750,000,” Richard Winton, Aug. 31, 2011

Reuters, “Mel Gibson, Oksana Grigorieva settle child custody,” Aug. 27, 2011

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Grandparents’ calls for custody rights grow louder

There is quite a bit of drama playing out in family law courts across the nation (with Milwaukee being no exception) over whether grandparents have any right to be involved in their grandchildren’s lives. This is an issue that may hit home if a Milwaukee grandma or grandpa becomes the odd person out after a child gets a divorce, dies, loses child custody or signs away parental rights and (inadvertently or otherwise) winds up shutting the grandparent out of the grandchild’s life.

Legally, parents and parents alone have a Constitutional right to raise their children. However, all 50 states have passed laws that allow non-parent third parties (such as grandparents) a certain degree of contact with a child in certain circumstances. (Naturally, the appropriate circumstances differ from state to state). All of those laws were put into question, though, by a 2000 Supreme Court ruling that said such laws could not cut too deeply into the rights of a competent parent

However, that approach ignores the fact that social dynamics are changing and grandparents are playing larger roles in their grandchildren’s lives. Aside from the fact the most grandparents love their grandchildren very much, many of them offer their grandchildren financial assistance or other support. The demographic of grandparents being primary caregivers has jumped in recent years, too.

What are your thoughts about all of this? Do you think it is better to leave parents as the sovereign rights-holders when it comes to kids, or do you think grandparents should be allowed some access to their grandchildren?

Source: The Associated Press, “States’ grandparent visitation laws raise concern,” Stephanie Reitz, Nov. 5, 2011

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Child custody trend of “nesting” grows among divorced parents

Milwaukee parents who are divorcing their spouses may understandably have concerns about how the separation is going to affect their children. While it is not true that a divorce is automatically going to traumatize a child, it is good to pay attention to your child’s well-being during what will be a time of great transition.

To reduce the impact a divorce and subsequent child custody arrangement may have on children, some parents are turning to a trend called “nesting.” Basically, the children stay put in one house and it is the parents who shuttle back and forth.

The chief positive of nesting is that it allows children to feel that they have a permanent space of their own. This can help them feel more stable and more grounded.

However, nesting raises some unique complications. First, do the parties of a divorced couple really want to keep in that close contact with one another? That can draw our the separation and slow a person’s ability to move on. Second, nesting can be expensive if the father has his own home, the mother has her own home and the children occupy a third home. There are also practical consideration to sort out, such as who buys the groceries, who metes out chores and enforces homework time and curfew and who has authority over day-to-day housekeeping concerns, such as redecorating and furniture.

If you think nesting is something you would like to try, it would be a good idea to speak out the arrangement with your family law attorney. He or she can listen to your proposed arrangement and can point out what might be some legal sticking points. At that point, if you are still interested, your attorney can discuss with you some possible ways to address those sticking points.

Source: Time, “Latchkey Parents,” Belinda Luscombe, Sept. 26, 2011

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How do Milwaukee families relocate with split child custody?

After a divorce, many people will look at their living situations and might find that it is unsustainable, or a few changes might be needed. One of these changes might be the location in which a person lives. If a family decides they need to move, whether it is for financial reasons, education reasons or for support by other family members, there are many things that need to be considered. A very important consideration is child custody.

Many parents in Milwaukee share placement and may have joint child custody with another parent. If one parent intends to relocate and reside with the child 100 miles or more from the other parent, the parent who intends to relocate and reside with the child shall file a motion with the court seeking permission for the child’s relocation. See, Wis. Stat. § 767.481. It is very important to make sure that moving out of the area with your children doesn’t violate your court order.

The motion for relocation includes the date of the move, the reason and new proposed municipality and state of the move, as well as a new placement schedule including changes to holidays and costs for transportation of the child between the parents. This document must be filed within 60 days of the move and the other parent has right to object 5 days before the initial hearing which could include an alternate proposal with placement modifications.

An experienced family law attorney can help those who want to relocate work through child custody issues in Milwaukee. Making sure all the proper legal documents are in place before a move is important to ensure a person doesn’t run into legal trouble down the line.

 

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Commission recommends uniform protections for military parents

When it comes to family law, state laws can vary greatly. For example, some Wisconsin laws governing divorce, child custody and child support differ from Minnesota or Michigan’s laws. This can create confusion and turmoil when a divorce or child custody case crosses state lines.

In effort to provide more uniformity between the states, a group called the Uniform Law Commission was created. Most recently, the commission has been working on a set of uniform codes that states can adopt to standardize custody rights for military parents.

The commission, which is made up of about 350 attorneys from across the nation, met this week to approval to the Deployed Parents Custody and Visitation Act, which addresses child custody rights for parents who are deployed.

Currently, a majority of states have enacted laws that protect the custody and visitation rights of military parents, but the rules lack consistency.

“States are all across the board on those issues, so the impetus for the uniform act was to provide states with a well-conceived piece of legislation that takes the best practices from all the states that we have seen and give them some guidance,” a lawyer for the Uniform Law Commission said.

Some of the issues that will be addressed in the uniform codes include: how to determine which court has jurisdiction when a military parent is assigned to a base in another state; visitation rights for step-parents or grandparents when a parent is deployed; and what should happen with a temporary custody when a parent returns from deployment.

Once recommended by the Uniform Law Commission, it will be up to the state legislatures to adopt the inform codes into law.

Years ago, the commission drafted the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, which was adopted by 49 states as a standard for determining jurisdiction and child support orders between states.

Source: Newsday, “U.S. panel: Improve child custody rules for military,” July 18, 2012

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Singer Usher continues in quest for child custody

Usher, the famous singer, has come to showcase his talent in Wisconsin. Wisconsin residents may have also read about his divorce and child custody case in the papers, as well as the recent tragedy that struck a near relation of his.

His ex-wife had a son who was recently involved in a fatal jet-ski accident. Tragically, the 11-year-old boy did not survive his injuries. Apparently, Usher who regarded this boy as a stepson during his marriage to the boy’s mother, was unable to attend the funeral.

Usher recently requested that an approaching court date concerning the custody of the couple’s children be postponed. In that request, it appeared that his motives involved a genuine desire to avoid stress and strain for his ex-wife, himself and their children in light of the recent tragedy.

Usher also admittedly is concerned that a court would be sympathetic to a mother who has just lost one son, and could be loath to take her other children away from her during this vulnerable time.

On the other hand, Usher’s ex-wife does not believe that Usher requested the delay out of concern for her, or that Usher is suffering from her son’s death. She seems particularly hurt by Usher’s lack of visible concern during the final days of the boy’s life. Losing one child also seems to have heightened her need for closure of the child custody proceeding concerning her other children.

As a result, she requested that the court date not be moved. The case is expected to move forward on schedule.

Source: TMZ, “Usher’s Ex-wife His Sympathy for My Dead Son is ‘BOGUS’,” Aug. 2, 2012

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Child custody issue amplified after international abduction

A jury recently convicted a Virginia pastor for aiding and abetting a mother who took her biologically related daughter out of the United States. In 2000, the mother married another woman in a Vermont-sanctioned civil ceremony. During the couple’s marriage, the biological mother conceived the girl through artificial insemination. The domestic couple split in 2004.

Afterwards, a family law court awarded primary custody to the biological mother and awarded visitation rights to the ex-partner. The biological mother appealed, claiming that she is no longer gay and that her ex-partner should not be allowed to visit the child. An appellate court affirmed the family court’s ruling.

When the case went back down to family court, the judge indicated that he was inclined to grant custody of the child to the ex-partner because the biological mother kept defying a series of court orders allowing the ex-partner to see the child. Prompted by the judge’s warning, the mother sought the aid of a Mennonite pastor. He arranged for another person to drive the mother and daughter to Canada where they were taken to an airport to catch a flight to Nicaragua.

The mother apparently chose to flee to Nicaragua because it is not a party to the 1980 Hague Convention Treaty that requires the return of children illegally taken from member countries. After their arrival in Nicaragua, American Mennonites took them in because they felt the child needed protection from what they consider an immoral lifestyle. The ex-partner hopes that the jury’s verdict against the pastor sends a message to Nicaragua that it should return the child safely to Vermont.

Notwithstanding the verdict against the pastor, the real issue is whether domestic partners who are not biologically related to children conceived during gay civil unions should have custody or visitation rights. Family law attorneys are equipped to handle a wide variety of child custody situations.

Source: Wisconsin Gazette, “Lesbian mom sues pastor who helped ex kidnap child,” Aug. 15, 2012

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Seal and Heidi Klum submit custody paperwork

The initial separation between supermodel Heidi Klum and singer Seal started off amicably. However, the recent public arguments between the power couple might mean that things are about to turn nasty for the pair. As the couple discusses child custody for their three children, several variables will determine the outcome of the battle. In addition, Klum has a daughter from a prior relationship who is also involved in the custody battle.

The supermodel asked for primary physical custody in the spring. She requested that Seal have visitation rights. He submitted legal requests to the court that asked for joint physical custody of the children as well.

One of the main concerns for parents during a separation and divorce is child custody issues. Addressing the emotional issues of custody and visitation rights can be stressful for all involved parties. An attorney who understands the tricky dynamics of family law can help mediate acceptable solutions for both parties. Although mediation is usually the first choice in resolving child custody issues, an attorney will take their clients’ cases to court if a judge is needed for settlement.

Attorneys can also address the financial issues that inevitably come up during a divorce, including the division of property, alimony and child support. They should have a solid background in family law so to avoid potential conflicts before they happen. An experienced attorney will strategize with clients and make suggestions in each relevant area. Parents and their children need to be protected as they prepare and plan for the future.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Celebrity Custody Battles: Will Seal And Heidi Klum’s Child Custody Dispute Turn Ugly?” Aug. 29, 2012

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Program gives divorced dads ways to stay connected with kids

Research has shown that maintaining a strong father-child relationship after a divorce is important for the child’s well-being both while growing up and as an adult. But about 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, and mothers receive primary child custody 80 percent of the time. As a result, divorced dads often feel disconnected from their children and struggle to maintain a close relationship.

The University of Wisconsin currently is evaluating the effectiveness of an online intervention program that provides non-custodial fathers with strategies for remaining connected with their kids and for managing their relationships with their ex-wives. The program, called Apart, Not Broken: Learn, Connect, and Create, lets fathers learn from the experiences of other dads using a combination of videos and other online resources.

In Wisconsin, if parents do not agree on a mutual agreement on where their child is to live following divorce, also known as physical placement, the court decides based on what is deemed to be in the best interests of the child. Once physical placement has been determined by court order, a visitation schedule, also known as a parenting plan, is created to determine the time the child will spend with the other parent.

After physical placement has been determined by court order, it can be difficult to modify. Accordingly, it is important to seek help from an experienced child custody attorney up front. An attorney can work to make sure child custody and visitation issues are addressed in a manner that protects the child’s best interests and preserves critical parent-child relationships.

Source: The Northwestern, “Children of divorce benefit from relationship with both of their parents,” Chris Kniep, Nov. 27, 2012

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