Many Milwaukee residents probably know J. Crew, the clothing company beloved by Michelle Obama and other clotheshorses. If so, they are probably familiar with the face of J. Crew, Jenna Lyons. J. Crew has made Lyons, its president and creative director, a prominent fixture of its marketing campaigns. She usually appears in advertisements with her son to convey the message that it is possible to be a modern, career-oriented professional and parent — and to look great all the while.
The focus of that marketing strategy might need to change, though. Lyons recently filed for divorce from Vincent Mazeau, her husband since 2002, and is reportedly leaving him for a relationship with a woman.
It seems Lyons’ marriage to Mazeau fell apart this summer. Now, the two are trying to figure out a child custody arrangement for their son, Beckett.
Another unresolved issue is whether Lyons will have to pay Mazeau spousal support. Last year, she earned $4.2 million while he was primarily a stay-at-home dad. Mazeau has said he gave up on his career as an artist so that Lyons could pursue her career at J. Crew.
All in all, this has the makings for a rather contentious divorce. Money, fame and a professional reputation are at stake and if it’s true that Lyons left her husband for a woman, then there is just a whiff of scandal about the whole affair.
Generally speaking, in child custody cases, judges consider the best interests of the child. When it comes to spousal support, they look to each spouse’s need and to the other spouse’s ability to pay.
Now, that is really an over-generalization. Every relationship is unique and there are a host of other nuances and smaller factors that play into the situation. (Here, for instance, is true that Mazeau “gave up” his career as an artist? Many artists do not make it professionally; was he really “giving up” anything at all?)
If you are heading towards a divorce or need guidance in determining an acceptable child-custody arragement, it would be a good idea to have a conversation with a Milwaukee attorney who specializes in these matters. He or she will be able to elaborate more on all the details of what goes into child custody and spousal support decisions.
Source: The Daily Mail, “Millionaire J. Crew boss who painted five-year-old son’s toenails pink splits from husband — and moves on with lesbian lover,” Daniel Bates, Oct. 25, 2011
Sometimes marriages can be saved, but should they be?
After Milwaukee residents decide to divorce, is the marriage really over? Maybe, but maybe not. Some marriage and family law observers say that even after a couple makes the decision to end their relationship and goes about creating a child visitation schedule, making arrangements to divide their property, etc. there is a possibility the marriage could be saved. But that, of course, begs the question: should the marriage be saved in the first place?
One major factor that helps determine whether patching things up after reaching the decision to divorce is how quickly a couple made the call to end their relationship. If you and your spouse decided to separate after an argument about whose turn it was to take out the trash, for example, you two probably did not think things through. A clinical psychologist pointed out to a reporter that seeking counseling or reconciliation services can help a couple determine if divorce is really the right step for them. It would be better, of course, if you and your spouse sought these services before you decided to divorce, but that does not mean the advice and insight of a professional counselor or therapist cannot be helpful even if it is after the fact.
But it is important to keep in mind that some marriages cannot or should not be saved. Seeking a divorce is sometimes the option that makes the most sense for people. Filing for divorce does not mean you have failed. In the best circumstances, it means you have thought carefully about where (if anywhere) you see the relationship going and whether you want to be there.
In addition to making an appointment with a therapist or counselor to discuss your relationship, it might be a good idea to have a sit-down with a divorce or family law attorney if you are considering ending your relationship. This attorney could explain to you how the divorce process works and might be able to speak in general terms about how it would apply to your relationship (“in general terms” because details and precision require a lot more information and detail than you could give in an initial consultation.) Even if you decide that divorce is not right for you at this time, that is still helpful information to have.
In short, rushing into divorce is not a good idea. A divorce may be the right idea, but that is a conclusion you should reach after a period of thoughtful, informed decisionmaking.
Source: The Detroit Free Press, “Decision to divorce includes uncertainty, and many people change their minds,” Oct. 2, 2011
Collaborative divorce: right for some, but not for all
The executive director of the Collaborative Family Law Council of Wisconsin recently wrote an opinion piece for the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel in which he urged residents of Milwaukee and other Wisconsin cities to consider a means of separating to which they may not have previously given much thought — collaborative divorce. While there are benefits to collaborative divorce, there are drawbacks as well. Any Milwaukee resident who is thinking of separating with a spouse would do well to consider both the advantages and disadvantages of collaborative divorce, which will be briefly outlined here.
Collaborative divorce is somewhat similar to divorce mediation in that the objective is a parting of ways that is as easy as possible on the family as whole. Collaborative divorce incorporates the services of financial professionals, who try to help a couple reach a fair and just property division agreement that is in accord with the law, and therapists and relationship experts, who address emotional needs. This gentle and holistic approach is just the right fit for some people.
But as you can tell, involving that many professionals in one process can get quite expensive. Another drawback is that if the collaboration fails, your attorney may not be able to represent you if the divorce goes to litigation – shouldn’t people be allowed to choose whichever representation they wish? Lastly, while no one likes fighting, it is just a fact that sometimes a fair-but-firm stance is necessary in a divorce, and collaborative law setup may not provide that.
Have you had experience with either type of divorce? Do you think collaborative divorce is a viable option, or do you think it really only works for a few rare couples?
Source: The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, “A better way in divorce process,” Brian H. Jensen, Sept. 15, 2011
Women must mind money matters after divorce
Some divorce experts say that divorce is harder on women than it is on men — not necessarily on an emotional or physical level, but in a financial sense. This is something people, not only those in Milwaukee but everywhere, need to factor into their plans if they decided to end their relationships.
According to divorce experts, many women lack even basic money management skills. Now, they do not say that because women are not capable of handling their own finances or because woman cannot be independent. Rather, they make that observation because in the division of labor, it is often the male half of a couple who handles the finances. That means the wife may never gets the hands-on experience one needs to become financially literate. This becomes a problem when a couple splits up. If the former husband has always managed the family treasury, so to speak, the former wife may not know how to do necessary things like apply for a mortgage, file taxes, plan investments, etc. And of course, after the divorce, she will need to know how to do these things on her own.
This is really a concern nowadays since the economy is faring so poorly and money is tight for everyone. When the family budget is lean, there simply is not room even for one or two mistakes. Also, the pool of marital assets may have been diminished by the crummy economy, so women may start out with less than they need and may not have the necessary experience to know how to get their own financial picture to improve.
If you are a woman and you are thinking about divorce, ask your family law attorney if he or she has a financial professional whom he or she can recommend. Another option is to look into whether there are financial literacy classes at your local library or community center. How you will manage your finances after you divorce is definitely something you should think about, but there is no reason it should stop you from making this move if you think it is the right step for you.
Source: Reuters, “Divorce stress meets recession mess, and women struggle” Lou Carlozo, Oct. 14, 2011
Further thoughts on the rising number of Baby Boomer divorces
As we have reported before, the divorce rate among those over 50 is moving up as divorces overall are holding steady. Those numbers seem to disprove the conventional wisdom people in Milwaukee have that divorce is only for young people who rushed into ill-advised unions. That people over 50 are splitting up in eye-catching numbers, then, may not be new, but it is such an interesting trend that researchers keep studying it in hopes of better understanding the social forces that are driving this trend.
One researcher recently said she believes the increase in Baby Boomer divorces is due to the increase in professional opportunities for women over the past few decades. When many Baby Boomers were first married, women did not have as many professional opportunities. These days, of course, that has changed. This has led many women to realize they desire a career and could support themselves without a spouse’s income. This is not to say it is impossible to have a career and a marriage, but in at least some cases, it has led women to think they want something other than a marriage and a life at home.
Also, our society’s changing views on marriage and divorce can probably account for a lot of this trend. Simply put, we no longer look down on people who get divorced. It is not a mark of failure; it simply means two people decided the best thing for them would be to separate. In some cases, the ex-spouses even remain friends. People across society seem to recognize and accept this.
Milwaukee residents who are thinking about divorce, then, should not worry about how it may seem to other people. The rising divorce rate among Baby Boomers shows that divorce is a viable, socially acceptable option for anyone. We all hope marriages work out, of course, but in many cases they do not. If the latter is the case with your marriage, you may want to speak to a family law attorney about your options.
Source: The Akron Beacon Journal, “Divorce rate rising for baby boomers,” Kim Hone -McMahan, Oct. 18, 2011
Crime novelist Elmore Leonard, wife divorce
The reasons behind a divorce are often private (as they should be, since is a deeply personal decision). This is not usually how it goes with celebrities, however, since people are so interested in every detail of their lives. But the case of popular crime novelist Elmore Leonard bucks that trend. Reporters in his native Detroit only recently learned that Leonard his wife of 18 years are separating and the reasons behind the divorce are (surprise, surprise) a mystery.
If Leonard’s name is not familiar to people in Milwaukee, his work certainly is. Over his 60-year career, he has written dozen of crime bestsellers. Several of his works, including “3:10 to Yuma” have been turned into hit movies. He has also written screenplays for the FOX TV show “Justified.”
Evidently, Leonard and his wife Christine began the separation process very quietly earlier this year. In May, she filed for divorce and cited a breakdown of the marriage, but did not offer any details The Leonards are a very private couple, so news of their separation only became known after a reporter came across records of the separation filed with Oakland Circuit Court in Michigan.
One rather unusual aspect to the Leonards’ divorce is that Christine Leonard has sought a restraining order against Elmore Leonard that would prevent him from making any big changes to the couple’s assets, such as altering life insurance plans or transferring large amounts of money. She has asked that he continue to pay her living expenses as the two of them work out the divorce. She probably made this request because Leonard’s earnings as an author made up the bulk of their likely considerable fortune.
Source: The Detroit News, “Author Elmore Leonard, wife to divorce,” Mike Martindale, Oct. 20, 2011
J. Crew boss to try on a size XL divorce
Many Milwaukee residents probably know J. Crew, the clothing company beloved by Michelle Obama and other clotheshorses. If so, they are probably familiar with the face of J. Crew, Jenna Lyons. J. Crew has made Lyons, its president and creative director, a prominent fixture of its marketing campaigns. She usually appears in advertisements with her son to convey the message that it is possible to be a modern, career-oriented professional and parent — and to look great all the while.
The focus of that marketing strategy might need to change, though. Lyons recently filed for divorce from Vincent Mazeau, her husband since 2002, and is reportedly leaving him for a relationship with a woman.
It seems Lyons’ marriage to Mazeau fell apart this summer. Now, the two are trying to figure out a child custody arrangement for their son, Beckett.
Another unresolved issue is whether Lyons will have to pay Mazeau spousal support. Last year, she earned $4.2 million while he was primarily a stay-at-home dad. Mazeau has said he gave up on his career as an artist so that Lyons could pursue her career at J. Crew.
All in all, this has the makings for a rather contentious divorce. Money, fame and a professional reputation are at stake and if it’s true that Lyons left her husband for a woman, then there is just a whiff of scandal about the whole affair.
Generally speaking, in child custody cases, judges consider the best interests of the child. When it comes to spousal support, they look to each spouse’s need and to the other spouse’s ability to pay.
Now, that is really an over-generalization. Every relationship is unique and there are a host of other nuances and smaller factors that play into the situation. (Here, for instance, is true that Mazeau “gave up” his career as an artist? Many artists do not make it professionally; was he really “giving up” anything at all?)
If you are heading towards a divorce or need guidance in determining an acceptable child-custody arragement, it would be a good idea to have a conversation with a Milwaukee attorney who specializes in these matters. He or she will be able to elaborate more on all the details of what goes into child custody and spousal support decisions.
Source: The Daily Mail, “Millionaire J. Crew boss who painted five-year-old son’s toenails pink splits from husband — and moves on with lesbian lover,” Daniel Bates, Oct. 25, 2011
The Second Chances Act: A good idea, or government intrusion?
People in Milwaukee have no doubt heard others make the argument that it is too easy to get a divorce these days. However, it is equally certain that there are those in Milwaukee who know — either from personal experience or from knowing others who have divorced — that in some relationships, the best thing for both partners is to end the marriage.
Given that people tend to have passionate (and contrasting) ideas about divorce, there is likely to be a stir over a piece of anti-divorce legislation that has been drafted by a group of people who want to add “speed bumps” to the divorce process. The “Second Chances Act” has not yet been adopted by any state, including Wisconsin, but its supporters are traveling around the U.S. singing its praises in hopes that state legislatures will take up the issue.
The concept behind the Second Chances Act is that couples might be less likely to divorce if they have to take a step back and thoroughly consider the process. The Second Chances Act calls for a letter advising a spouse that divorce is right around the corner, a “cooling-off” period and reconciliation training. The restrictions would be waived in certain circumstances like adultery, substance abuse or domestic violence. One of the main reasons supporters of The Second Chances Act are pushing the legislation is because they think it would benefit children, whom they claim are harmed when parents split up.
On the other hand, no one has ever said people should rush into a divorce. And isn’t it true that people who are married are adults who can and should be trusted to think through it on their own? Lastly, the idea that divorce is automatically traumatic for children is a rather bold assumption. True, the process of divorce is never fun, but it does not have to be a damaging experience.
What are your feelings about this issue? Do you think it would be good to slow down the speed with which people can obtain a divorce, or do you think we don’t need such precautions?
Source: The Washington Times, “Divorce-prevention plan advises time, talk,” Cheryl Wetzstein, Oct. 23, 2011
Sonic Split: Sonic Youth cofounders to divorce
Milwaukee music fans, take note: after 27 years together, the cofounders of the iconic 1990s band Sonic Youth are getting a divorce.
Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore have been called “indie rock’s ‘It’ couple.” Together, they founded one of the most respected punk bands of the last decade and had a solid 15-year career of hits. They also attracted attention because they were a rare example of artists who were able to work closely with one another while still maintaining an apparently harmonious personal relationship.
Many music fans are upset over news of the divorce not only because they worry about what it will mean for the band, but because Gordon and Moore were idolized as the ideal couple by many so-called Gen Xers.
However, fans of Sonic Youth should not be too brokenhearted. Many couples are able to remain friends even after they dissolved their marriages. And as for the band, it is possible Moore and Gordon will keep it going. They have come this far, so they obviously have something worth saving and maybe they will realize that and work to preserve the band.
Many couples who found a business (like a money-making rock band) work closely with attorneys when they divorce because lawyers can listen to what the couple hopes will happen to the business and then outline a plan for achieving it. If the couple would like to split the business, the lawyer can show them how to fairly and equitably divide it. If the couple would like to keep the business going, a lawyer can draft an operating agreement that gets certain expectations in writing.
All in all, a lawyer may be able to take some of the pain and uncertainty out of divorce.
Source: The Atlantic Wire, “Gen X is Unsure if it Will Love Again After the Sonic Youth Divorce,” Adam Clark Estes, Oct. 17, 2011
How a prenuptial agreement can protect your business
Milwaukee residents who own businesses may have a little hesitancy about getting married. These business owners love their soon-to-be-spouses, of course, but they do not want to risk the health of the businesses they have worked so hard to establish in the event that they are to divorce.
One good way that some business owners choose to ensure the ongoing integrity of their businesses is to seek out a prenuptial agreement before marrying. One family law expert called prenuptial agreements “the most cost-efficient and reliable pre-marital contract that can protect your business in the event of a divorce.”
The primary reason this and other family law insiders hold this opinion is that a prenuptial agreement specifies how property will be distributed in the event of a divorce. In the context of a business, that means you can state in advance that you will maintain ownership of your business and its assets if you and your spouse eventually split.
Of course, this presumes two things: that your prenuptial agreement is valid and enforceable and that it has been specifically customized to you and your unique situation. For this, you will need to identify and work with a family law attorney whom you trust and esteem. Lawyers who specialize in this field are familiar with the ins and outs of this area of law and can make sure that you are getting a prenuptial agreement that works for you.
A good way to find an attorney with whom you would like to work is to ask family members, friends and business associates if they have any recommendations. You can also check with your local bar association.
Source: Forbes, “Protecting Your Business In A Divorce: Pre-Nuptial Agreement,” Evangeline Gomez, Nov. 2, 2011
Not so fast: Tiki Baber can’t remarry until divorce is finalized
Wisconsin is like all other states in that it has a few general requirements for adults entering into marriage. First, each has to be over the age of 18, must be able to consent, must be capable of sexual intercourse and must not be a party to an undissolved marriage. That last part means a divorce must be final before someone can marry another person.
New York has similar requirements and the last one, about not marrying someone while still being married to another person, is apparently where former New York Giants running back Tiki Barber’s plans to marry his second wife have gone awry.
Barber has been engaged to his fiancée for awhile now and planned to marry her this spring, but it seems that he is going to have to delay the wedding until his divorce from his previous wife is finalized.
Barber separated from his wife Ginny Cha in April 2010. He has entered into a new relationship with Traci Johnson, whom he met while working as a television commentator, and the two evidently made arrangements to wed in the spring.
However, Barber’s divorce from Cha is still tried up in Manhattan Supreme Court because Barber and Cha cannot agree on a property settlement. Barber has said he cannot afford what Cha is asking in terms of spousal maintenance and child support (the couple have four children). In this instance, however, Cha has a bargaining chip because she knows Barber cannot marry Johnson until their divorce is finalized. It is improper to stall a divorce proceeding for an improper purpose like a delay for delay’s sake and her lawyer would likely decline to go along with it, but still — Cha does not exactly have an incentive to hurry things along.
Source: The New York Post, “Tiki, Traci wedding glitch,” Nov. 14, 2011